Breaking the News - June 13, 2011
The Axis of Clever and Kathy Landin’s “I’m an Idiot” Show tried really hard to avoid Weiner jokes this week. They were unsuccessful. A lot. They also use Facebook to avoid murder and get thirsty watching E!, but mostly, Weiner. So much so that the show gets slightly NSFW at the end. Sorry. At least we didn’t tweet our private photos.
Transcript Happy Monday! Here are some headlines from the last week. Sort of. In our top story, a shocking revelation last week as sources revealed that New York Representative Anthony Weiner still uses AOL to send email. However, even after confessing to using the so 2003 service to send sexually charged content, the beleaguered Congressman still denies that he was ever photographed with a dog wearing a pull-over. In a related story, Representative Anthony Weiner has confired that it may have been a mistyped message that caused the world to see his private photo. We here at Breaking the News apologize for any photos of our privates our typos may have caused. Also related, emboldened by finally getting a story right, Andrew Breitbart of Breitbart.com has now demanded lewd pictures from all Democrats for, “reference in future stories.” In other news, yes, there was other news, a Florida homeowner foreclosed on Bank of America after the company failed to pay fees awarded in a court settlement. Bank officials say there will be a sale on all pens with chains to recover money owed. Lawmakers in San Francisco are reviewing a bill that would make circumcising babies illegal. Opponents of the law say not allowing circumcision will make it more difficult to identify “personal” photos posted by politicians in the future. In other political news, Newt Gingrich’s staff walked out on him late last week. Inside sources say it was angry because he refused to post it on Twitter like all the other politicians do. An Indiana woman used Facebook to uncover a murder plot her soon-to-be ex-husband was formulating against her. She then also used it to send some goats to destroy his Farmville farm. In celebrity news, Ice-T and his wife Coco are starring in a new reality series called “Ice-T loves Coco” that premiered on the E! channel over the weekend. Early ratings indicate that audiences are thirsty for more. In other Hollywood news, Tracy Morgan apologized publicly on Friday for a comedy routine that was deemed by some to be violently anti-gay. Those who witnessed the performance say it provided proof that his real name is Tracy M. Organ. And finally, recording artist Pink has given birth to a baby girl, who she and husband, Carey Hart, named Willow Sage. Pink explained the name to family members saying “6 more babies and we’ll be a complete Crayola box.” That’s it. I’m Kathy. If the news is broken…my staff totally walked out on me this week. credits Dick joke! Sorry, it just seemed like we didn’t have enough this week. For the actual stories The news would not be in regular need of repair without the help of these quality conspirators: @joeschmitt,@arjunbasu, @almostfancyblog, @blobert, Bonehead Radio, @CowboyW, @davio1962, @donchiefnerd,@DoogieHowser_MD, @drivewaydrinker, @formerlycarrmah, @goldengateblond, Gregory Battin,@heathermitch, @iamnotdiddy, Jason Betke, @JeeNeeBee, @joeygerharz, John Battin, Larry Weinstein,@northpacific, @penbleth, @rexhuppke, @ripslich Sam Battin, @ShawnaShawna, @slag_mag,@succitaM, @thejohnblog, @unfnshdprsn, @yayaa.
